Reporter Who Got Cancer Diagnosis After Viewer Tip Almost ‘Back To Normal,’ Shows Scar (Video)

Ironically enough, moralising multi-millionaire Coogan recently starred as a Philip Green-esque fashion fat cat in satirical film Greed. The Commons Treasury committee called his move to furlough personal staff “absolutely wrong”. Jowly justice-seeker Piers Morgan branded it “stinking hypocrisy”. After Coogan dismissed reports of his money-grubbing as “a non-story”, Tory MP Andrew Bridgen said: “He appears to have lost his sense of humour over this. I’m not sure that the majority of taxpayers will see the funny side of it either.”

It’s all awkwardly reminiscent of that episode of I’m Alan Partridge where the Norfolk numpty fires the entire personnel of Peartree Productions, bravely locking himself in his office and breaking the news to them via intercom, rather than downsize his beloved Rover saloon. It’s surely a matter of days before Coogan’s local owl sanctuary reopens and he’s spotted on a date there. Not so much “Aha!” as “Twit-woo”. 

Many crafting sorts are making their own face masks – hey, all you need is a sewing machine, some fabric and way too much time on your hands – but Hollywood actress

Alyssa Milano has rather got the wrong end of the personal protective stick. 

Ms Milano proudly posted on Twitter a snap of her family wearing twee crocheted masks, accompanied by the sage advice: “Masks keep people safe and healthy #WearAMask.” At which point, thousands of trolls gleefully pointed out that Alyssa’s knitted numbers are literally full of holes, hence about as much use as a spritz of Piz-Buin in a nuclear apocalypse. 

Alyssa later angrily replied, calling such naysayers “A-holes” (touchy) and insisting there was a carbon filter hidden beneath the Swiss cheese-like wool. Sadly, the damage was done. The star of Who’s The Boss?, Charmed and seminal cinematic work Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 found her hard-earned reputation as an epidemiologist undermined. Thanks a bunch, so-called science.

Elsewhere on the Hollywood C-list, spare a thought for poor

Tara Reid – star of American Pie, Sharknado and other arthouse classics. Why? Well, what could be worse than being in lockdown during a global pandemic? That’s right. Being in lockdown during a global pandemic with


In a frankly surreal twist of fate, the actress has been holed up in her Los Angeles apartment with Irish pop twins John and Edward Grimes, esteemed alumni of The X Factor and Eurovision Song Contest. Reid “befriended” the vertiginously quiffed brothers when they were housemates on Celebrity Big Brother 8 back in 2011.

The brothers Grimes arrived in America in mid-March, shortly before lockdown began, stayed over at Reid’s gaff and have been there ever since. “I have a small apartment, just two rooms, so it's not easy,” revealed Reid. We’ll wager it isn’t. Still, they’ve at least formed a sort of creative commune. 

“We are all artists,” said Reid, somehow keeping a straight face. “You should see the songs John and Edward are writing right now.” We shudder to think. Jedward are so honkingly tone-deaf, after all, that even former Prime Minister Gordon Brown once slammed them as “not very good”. You tell ‘em, El Gordo. 

Jade Goody’s widower

Jack Tweed isn’t a man known for either brains or strict morals but he’s hit a new lockdown low after trying – and failing – to break government guidelines. Not for any noble reason involving sick relatives or childcare, you understand, but simply, it seems, in pursuit of sex workers off the interweb.

The 32-year-old allegedly offered money to a live-cam stripper to visit him last weekend, seemingly so they could have sex. Tweed reportedly begged the webcam model to drive 170 miles to visit him for “a romp” – and, just to add insult to pandemic injury, asked her to bring a pal.

The woman who goes by the name Mistress K online shared screenshots of messages from Tweed with a tabloid newspaper, adding that he also sent her explicit photos of his “manhood”.

“I offer virtual sexual experiences,” explained Mistress K. “But he began badgering me to meet for sex. I was shocked when he begged me to break lockdown rules and drive to his house.” She added that he wanted her “to bring another girl” and claimed that he said he would pay them both. Chivalry, it seems, is not dead. 

Tweed denied that he’d sent X-rated snaps or invited webcam models to his Essex house, claiming that a friend must have borrowed his phone. 

It’s hard graft being a supermodel and German showpony

Heidi Klum has clearly had enough of bad hair days in quarantine. The 46-year-old clothes-horse got a home visit from hairstylist-to-the-stars Lorenzo Martin last week to touch up her blonde mane. Klum showed off the process on Instagram, instantly endearing herself to her 7.4m followers, most of whom are gagging to get their own lockdown locks sorted out. 

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